My parents are currently clearing out the loft, and they happened to come across bits and pieces that I wrote and drew when I was younger. The drawings are, in my opinion, adorably cute. The writing, not so much. Here is a story I wrote, word for word. Please turn off your grammar radars, and enjoy to the best of your ability!
The name mistletoe means bird droppings. The seeds are spread by birds rubbing there beaks on the tree. The mistletoe dosnt grow on mistletoe trees because people think Jesus was scificed on and so the mistletoe tree dosnt grow any more and it grows on apple and oak trees. When you kiss your worst enamy under it you will not quarrel for a year. If you cut it with any bit of meatal it will bring you bad luck and it will bring you bad luck if the mistltoe touches the ground, the mistltoe must only touch a white bit of cloth. Vicers don't have mistltoe in thir church.
The next piece of literary genius is a story about a castle. It is untitled.
The car breaks down one day me Leanora mum mum and dad were going on holiday. There was a stream and we didnt see it, the car sunk. Under the water there was a castle. We went in, someone took us to a dungeon. We fell through a trap door. We had fallen a long way down. We were falling and falling and we went thorough my chimney. We had fallen through my chimney. We had got to find the black castle again. We all went to the woods. We all dressed up as guards and we could get in. The castle was very dark. We went down a winding star case. We saw a guard and he threw us in the dungeon. We fell in to a nother wood and found another black castle. We went in and saw the black King and Queen. everybody looked at me and Leanora. Childern said the King and Queen. We have never seen childern before. The Kind and Queen let us have dinner. My dad said it was the best dinner he had ever eaten. We thanked the King and Queen. We went to find the car we found it and the car was mended we were going home but we couldnt find the way. Me and Leanora went to find a way while my mum and dad had a cup of tea in the car.
I like to think that I've improved slightly over the years. Please don't let these atrocious examples stop you buying my current work! Please!